My first impressions when I arrived to the club were mixed emotions between enlightenment and deception.
Although my heart was immediately filled with tranquility and joy just by looking at the seashore; the perfect kiss between the Atlantic Ocean and his forest, I realized that linens in good conditions and a clean room are also rated important in my checklist.
Forgive me the genteel reader for the bad mood but I am writing during my stay, so (I hope) this will change more to the end of this review, while I get to know the rest of the place.
The hotel complex follows the Club Med formula. You will find all resources needed to enjoy a healthy stay at the beach. There are three swimming pools, 8 tennis courts (2 indoor), a multi-sports court, a very well assembled gym, water-skiing facilities, sauna and even archery stands.
You can go swimming at the calm private beach just in front of the hotel or kayaking on a translucent river that ends on the shore and divides the sport courts region from the hotel living area.
In addition to the great outdoor installations, the food is fantastic. Take your diet seriously before coming to the Club Med.
Isn't it paradise? Why am I so critical?
Let's talk straight, the bedrooms need urgent maintenance; you will find mold on the walls and ceiling and the overall cleanness inside your chamber will probably be very very poor.
Although you have to pay about $25 per week for Internet, the Wi-Fi sucks. Furthermore the “parking lot” speed imposed to your navigation, the old login system requires you to input the password every time your computer goes on sleep mode - It will make you memorize your unique 5-digit PIN very quickly.
Finally, don't expect to find a chocolate heart on your bed when returning from dinner; this is other category of hotel.
Nevertheless, if you don't suffer from any serious respiratory allergy and believe that outside of your room is where the most important part of your vacation takes place, and I confess I was able to convince myself just that, you only have to survive to the intensive animation program to enjoy your stay.
“Zig zaga zig zaga, zig zig zaga zaga” sings very loudly a young lady wearing a white ballet costume to a group of kids on the stage of an open theater close to the pools where GO’s shows are performed every night. She was attending at the front desk few minutes ago.
Club Med name their stakeholders GO's, GM's and GE's: GO's are “genteel organizers” (themselves), who manage all sort of commodity work performed by the GE's “genteel employees”, like cleaning or cooking.
The GO’s also personally execute Club Med core competencies, from hosting to animation, special dishes preparation and sports coaching.
GM’s “genteel members” is how they call us, although Club Med ceased to be a club association since the 90’s.
There are lots of GO’s. One fellow of the staff told me that they where 300 to serve about 700 GM’s!
Don’t get me wrong; I am not saying that because of their big numbers, they are doing nothing. Actually, GO’s work very hard on a 7 hours shift per day, 6 days per week schedule, maybe aspiring to be promoted to a selective group that travel all over the world, one year organizing on each club.
The problem is exactly the opposite, filled by an excess of motivation, they tend to exaggerate on their mission of delivery contentment. – As a result, the feeling is that happiness is being enforced during your stay.
OK they've almost got me with the Brazilian barbecue served by the calm pool located away from the hotel hullabaloo where I was hiding from the "Caribbean groove" sponsored by the tennis teacher wearing a rumba dancer costume in the colors of the Brazilian flag. What's wrong with the girl from Ipanema?
Perhaps because I am a Brazilian from Rio de Janeiro, I found strange their prescription of animation in Italian/French accent. Maybe I missed some local content, some real Brazilian samba (not rumba please).
To finalize, don’t expect anything better from the GO’s spectacles performed every night during their “resting” hours (from 8:30 to 11:00 pm) and announced like it was a Broadway show, than your kid’s high school theater concerts.
Although they take it very seriously and have some really talented promises among them, it is just too complicated to wear so many hats!
The Rio show is surreal; it is a mix of slapstick comedy half-and-half with fake samba school dancers.
If you are able to scape from the propaganda and could enjoy the place far from the theater during the critical hours (warning, if you have kids it will be impossible), you might go listen to the last show, about the history of the music, it is the only one that worth your time.