Oh dear. Ohhhhh, Hilton. No goodsies. To preface: we booked this trip after being sold on a discounted vacation by Hilton if we'd just sit through a 2-hour timeshare presentation. We knew it was probably going to be at least mildly annoying, but hey, it's Hilton, how bad can it be? We were told very clearly that we would be staying in a suite large enough to hold at least two couples with a kitchen and a washer dryer. My fiance and I were both on the call, wrote down what we were told, and he emailed it to me to have a record of the conversation that same day. Keep that in mind as you read this review, y'all.
So we arrive at Honolulu airport for our very badly needed vacation having heard just prior to leaving that the APEC summit was going on at the same time. We didn't hear this from Hilton, mind you, but from a snorkeling tour company. The lovely and helpful girls at the rental car place helpfully informed us that Obama was staying at Hilton. Again, the rental car girls - not Hilton. Look, I get it that Hilton doesn't control the APEC summit, isn't in charge of security for the POTUS, and that it's really a good economic thing for Hawaii. I understand, really. But don't you think that just maybe they could have warned us far enough in advance so we could change our plans if we didn't want to be in Waikiki at the same time and have our vacation severely compromised by all the security and general hullabaloo? Even if they couldn't say exactly who was going to stay there, they could have said something generic. ANYway...
So we finally arrive at HHV (after having our car searched by Secret Service) only to be told that there were no rooms with king beds available. Um... what? My fiance and I are not sleeping in two double beds, but thanks. Call your supervisor. And lo! A wild king bed miraculously appears! I'm starting to get a funny feeling at this point, because weren't we supposed to be in a suite? Didn't the nice saleslady who sold us this vacation tell us we should totally bring another couple? So with great trepidation we head up to our room, only to find a gungy carpet, stained desk chair, and totally unremarkable teensy hotel room. Not okay. My honey calls down to the timeshare concierge to find out what the sam hill is going on, and after quite a bit of back and forth about what the package includes vis-a-vis what we were promised, she says she'll call her supervisor to find out what she can do. We head down to the bar to have an umbrella drink (you know, because we're on vacation in Hawaii and would like to enjoy ourselves at some point) and wait. And wait. And get glowered at by Secret Service. And wait some more. Then she calls back. Good news! She can upgrade us to something sort of vaguely approximating the type of room we were promised for the low low price of an additional 80 dollars a night! And because they're so very nice, they'll even waive the $100 fee they'd normally charge for changing the room type after check in! Yeeeeeeah no.
So we go trundling over to her office (not actually having had our fruity beverages yet, mind you) to talk this out face-to-face. And she tells us that she's superduper sorry, but the saleslady was wrong, shouldn't have told us we'd be getting anything more than the most basic room, and basically that we need to suck it up and deal, the 80 buck upgrade is her best offer. We very calmly explain our position to her - this is not what we agreed to, not what we were promised, and not what we paid for. We're not paying extra because their people messed up. We're either going to get what we were promised or we're going to check out and go elsewhere (I've already called two other hotels) and dispute the charges from Hilton to our credit cards. She'll call her supervisor again. Okay, we'll go down to the beach and wait for her call. Oh, wait, we can't go to the beach. The beach is closed due to heightened security. Sigh. Okay, can she buy us a froofy tropical drink from the pool bar, then? WHAAAAAAT? In all her years she has NEVER had someone ask her such a thing! Sputter sputter well I never! She hands us $50 in "Hilton Dollars" to spend on the property. We head out the door. Wait, her colleague says! You know you can't use those for alcohol, right? Jesus mercy, people, I tell you what.
So we finally have some relaxing libations in hand (the relaxing quality somewhat compromised by the beefy men with earpieces frowning at us from every angle) when she calls back. Fine, we can have the suite for no upcharge, but they're going to listen to the tape of our call with the saleslady and if they find out we're lying liars who lie, they're going to charge us an additional $60 dollars a night for the suite. Um, the suite you were trying to upgrade us to for EIGHTY bucks a night a few minutes ago? Before you wasted three hours of our vacation and then questioned our integrity? Yeah, that suite. Which did have a kitchen but only one bedroom - imagine if we actually HAD brought another couple! How embarrassing that would have been! The ONLY reason this is a 2-star review instead of one is because we did ultimately get (more or less) what we were promised and we cooked some delicious fish tacos in that kitchen out of a mahi-mahi I caught.
I won't bore you with details of the timeshare presentation, but it, um, wasn't good. We didn't buy it. I know you're shocked.
Also: it's been two weeks since they told us they were going to listen to the tape. We've heard nothing. Funny, that.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- When staying at Hilton Grand Vacations at Hilton Hawaiian Village, you'll have access to the Village's spectacular amenities, including an exercise facility to maintain your workout routine, over 20 restaurants and lounges, complimentary shows and live events, first-class shopping and a wide variety of activities the whole family will enjoy. Hilton Grand Vacations at Hilton Hawaiian Village offers studios, one and two bedroom suites. ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Hilton Grand Vacations Club At Hilton Hawaiian Village Hotel Honolulu
- Hilton Hotel Honolulu
- Hilton Grand Vacations Club Honolulu
- Hilton Honolulu
- Honolulu Hilton
- Hawaiian Hilton Village
- Hilton Grand Vacations At Hilton Hawaiian Village Hawaii/Honolulu