Penang to Langkawi
It was almost comical. I have read the reviews online before I did this journey, I thought they were exaggerated stories. How bad can a 3 hour ferry journey be?
Firstly I wasn’t ill but I would have been in a small percentage (less than 20% that weren’t). I knew something was up when we were ushered to our seats in the hull of the ferry with no fresh air or window we could see out of. I then noticed that every pole between the rows of seats had wads of sick bags tied to them.
Within 10 minutes of the journey it all started. Frantic hands grabbing piles of sick bags followed by a simultaneous (almost rehearsed) outcry of vomiting. As one stopped the other started (almost poetic in some strange way). The wife was next. We darted to the rear of the ferry, navigating our way past/over green complexion bodies to locate the only two toilets on-board. This is where we remained for the remainder of the journey. Between tying granny knots in my wife’s freshly filled sick bags I was thriving in my new role as toilet attendant, one in one out, dozens of passengers trying to ignore my new found critical role and firm universal hand signals of hold, wait, someone is in there or ok you’re next but let them out the toilet first. I was excelling in my role and felt I could not leave this post without good reason.
Sadly the dark unlit toilets were not fairing as well as I was, they were filling fast, the vomiting in some instances had compromised some passengers rationale as some decided to even lay on the long drop toilet floor hugging the shallow toilet bowl hoping for a miracle.
I had to keep things moving, sorry but in this situation being covered in vomit and now faeces is no excuse to hold up this conveyer belt of awaiting vomiters ‘Your times up, ship out old mate.’
2.5 hours of performing my duty come to an end. Relief washed the faces of many particularly the long suffering partners of those vomiters. I was ecstatic.
Now it was time to check in to our 5 star resort looking like we were portraying Jim Carrey’s 1994 award winning performance in the movie The Mask.
In short. Take the aeroplane
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