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Reviewed 31 July 2015 via mobile

All of the bad reviews are true enough said and watch the so call all inclusive beer its watered down and if you have alot if lira your drink will be spiked and you will lose your lira so the staff will say oh you must have lost your english money and turkish lira last night funny they have money with a red mark i put on a 50 lira note

Stayed: July 2015, travelled with friends
1  Thank scotlandjohn2210
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Reviewed 12 July 2015

Sire
Harken to my plea

Upon my word, it is not three weeks since we set out upon a quest for sustenance and shelter amongst the dwellings of your Manor. Verily, we set out with songs in our breast for this was a journey undertaken light of heart and fleet of foot.

Think ye, Varlet, for though we sought fountains of wine and many a pie, how risen was our ire to find little in the way of ale or sustenance. Indeed, Venison there was none and the local serfs drank all the mead before the sounds of the village bells sent thieves and Villains scurrying to their lairs. Despite the title of guest lain upon us, dry were our throats for many a night.

Yet more angst was ours when not once, not twice but thrice we were moved to dwellings of a poor nature. Verily, my wounded comrade was forced to sleep upon a cot of many travellers and when mead was requested, a silver penny was sought, a demand that almost meant the varlet was forced to swallow his own teeth. Still, with chivalric restraint I quelled the fire within me and held back the fury that demanded release. Despite the Knave’s front, we obtained refreshment though it tasted of the pish of a goat.

Upon the rise of the second sun we did once more venture to a shelter new, but within the lodgings we did surely find the fleas of a thousand camels and food fit for nought but pigs. Neither cape nor sheepskin lay upon the cots and straw for the wiping of mine ar.se was there none.

Sire, many a coin was passed your way to ensure the best of lodgings but we were treated as mere serfs, to be mocked and sneered at by the lowly peasants who inhabit these lands.

Hard we tried to face our trials, for surely it was but a challenge to test our mettle, but finally, a terrible fate befell the wench who had ridden alongside me from the place of my birth. Verily, though she had partaken not of the juice of the grape, she suffered near mortal injury in thine castle when demons unknown cast her to tumble from high, seeking a rail upon the stair by which to restrain herself, but rails were there none, and she landed upon the ale house floor like a sack of turnips.

The damage to her person was most grievous and the apothecary set about her with blade and leech to seal the wound. The injury to her sword arm is indeed most grave but with secret potions and the blood of a bat to be killed at midnight, it should heal to wield once more the dagger of her clan. (Alas, the mouth still works as well as it ever did)

So, scurvy Knave, ye of the unwashed, be it known that on a given day, I demand the return of all the silver pennies passed to your servants and if they are not returned in timely manner, then I demand redress with one of the following.

• A trial of arms where we will wrestle amongst the entrails of chickens.
• A naked duel to the death, adorned only in loincloths of rusty chain mail.
• A drinking competition, quaffing many tankards of apple juice fermented by strong men of the bow. (This choice would be favoured)

Know this and share such warning amongst those you call comrade.

Heed my words, Knave and feel your legs shake within thine boots for they are said with venom and forged over tankards in many a tavern. Great is my name, great is my sword and great is my belly.

Hear me now, Varlet, my name is Thomas of the Bow and I will have my revenge.

  • Stayed: August 2014, travelled with friends
    • Location
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
5  Thank Sir-Twinkle
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Reviewed 6 May 2015 via mobile

We were lucky that we got a room, shocking food, staff and drink. Should be shut down. Apart from hotel great place for a holiday and fantastic if into diving or water sports. Do not use lollipop holidays as has this place as a 3 star. Funniest moments was the local stray cats refusing to eat the food we were served.

Stayed: May 2015, travelled with friends
4  Thank South-West F
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Reviewed 12 September 2017
Google Translation

  • Stayed: August 2017, travelled as a couple
    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Service
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Reviewed 28 August 2017 via mobile
Google Translation

Stayed: August 2017, travelled as a couple
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
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