This was the worst, by far, accommodation experience in all my years of travel. Booked the room for our last night in Portugal 4 months in advance. Received an email from the owner, Fransisco, two weeks before departing from home,that our room had been mistakenly, "double booked", but he could offer us another room and assured us that this new room had the very best view in the building and he would compensate us with a bottle of red wine upon our arrival. At the time,I had no reason to believe this man was being disingenuous so I took his words at face value. Little did we know then,that he routinely bumps guests if a longer booking comes along, and then shuffles you around. We have since read more of the reviews and see this is not an uncommon occurrence with him. He will bait and switch your room if it serves his bottom line. He doesn't care about a guests experience, he only cares about his pocket book.
If you are coming to Lisbon to see the main part of the city, you will find that the location of this property is terrible.It's WAY outside of where anything happens in Lisbon. Trying to access the "HOUSE" is a joke as it's actually on the top floor of an apartment building in a residential area. Signage is poor and you have to figure that out on your own via the intercom. The stairwells reek of urine. Our stay was off to unpleasant start before we even got to the front desk. Once the young man staffing the desk showed us our room, we were horrified, "The Playroom" as it is called is not much bigger then a utility closet, which stunk of raw sewage, the bedding was haggard and dirty;the shower was in such disrepair…it had broken handles with sharp edges. One had to dance around them to avoid being cut. We did not want to stay here, but of course the young man informed us they were full and this was our only option. After some discussion, he got the owner on the phone, Wow….talk about rude and insulting. After experiencing nothing but tremendous Portuguese hospitality and friendliness for two weeks, this was a shock to our senses. He was overbearing,discourteous and insisted we knew about the room change ahead of timeWell yes we did,but YOU totally misrepresented the room. Who cares about a micro view when the room reeks like an outhouse,is grimy and one barely has space to turn around in? Also, if you read other reviews here on Trip Advisor the sewage smell at this property is a known issue, so beware ahead of time to expect it. The HOT bottle of cheap red wine hardly made up for Francisco's room "bait and switch" he pulled on us. He refused to do anything further to allay our concerns, dismissed the idea of a refund and continued to be belligerent and insolent on the phone, I finally gave up and hung up as this conversation was going nowhere.
The "HOUSE" itself is run down and shabby - pictures on his website are outdated.Clearly,no money is being spent on upkeep here. Breakfast was a total joke.We were presented with cheap cereal, a few bottles of warm juice,terrible coffee and stale bread - none of the local ingredients we had experienced throughout our 2 weeks travels. Mass produced Babybel cheese instead of any of the amazing Portuguese regional cheeses??? OMG,come on.
Yes, the view from the rooftop is lovely…but that simply does not make up for every other aspect of this place. I only wished I had read more of the poor, terrible and average reviews here on Trip Advisor a little closer before reserving. Won't make that mistake again.
Check out was also an issue, we were paying cash and requested a receipt.Well you would have though we were asking for the moon.The staff were very hesitant to provide a receipt, this struck us as very odd.
A dissapointing way to end an outstanding time in Portugal. A country with amazing people and food. The only saving grace was finding the LOCO restaurant in the area.
If you get stuck in this hellhole,I recommend you to consider this restaurant (nothing much else in this area anyway) to dine at.
I expect the owner will come on and reply to my review as I have noted he does this to all negative reviews.If his past replies are any indication,I presume he will be defensive and self-justifying.If he only put as much energy into improving his lodgings as he does into trying to squelch honest reviews he might actually get somewhere.
Trip advisor readers,you have been warned.With SO many other options in Lisbon, there is zero need to waste your hard earned money on this dump.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- In what used to be a big family's home in the best neighbourhood in Lisbon, The HOUSE is a "boutique B&B" that offers its guests a sophisticated but relaxed ambiance inside, and a terrace with a breathtakingly beautiful view over Lisboa. Come, you will feel at home in The HOUSE. ... more less
- Reservation Options:
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- Also Known As:
- The House Hotel Lisbon