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“BEWARE:Lipstick on a pig”
Review of The House

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The House
Ranked #40 of 262 Lisbon B&B and Inns
Certificate of Excellence
Reviewed 25 September 2016

This was the worst, by far, accommodation experience in all my years of travel. Booked the room for our last night in Portugal 4 months in advance. Received an email from the owner, Fransisco, two weeks before departing from home,that our room had been mistakenly, "double booked", but he could offer us another room and assured us that this new room had the very best view in the building and he would compensate us with a bottle of red wine upon our arrival. At the time,I had no reason to believe this man was being disingenuous so I took his words at face value. Little did we know then,that he routinely bumps guests if a longer booking comes along, and then shuffles you around. We have since read more of the reviews and see this is not an uncommon occurrence with him. He will bait and switch your room if it serves his bottom line. He doesn't care about a guests experience, he only cares about his pocket book.

If you are coming to Lisbon to see the main part of the city, you will find that the location of this property is terrible.It's WAY outside of where anything happens in Lisbon. Trying to access the "HOUSE" is a joke as it's actually on the top floor of an apartment building in a residential area. Signage is poor and you have to figure that out on your own via the intercom. The stairwells reek of urine. Our stay was off to unpleasant start before we even got to the front desk. Once the young man staffing the desk showed us our room, we were horrified, "The Playroom" as it is called is not much bigger then a utility closet, which stunk of raw sewage, the bedding was haggard and dirty;the shower was in such disrepair…it had broken handles with sharp edges. One had to dance around them to avoid being cut. We did not want to stay here, but of course the young man informed us they were full and this was our only option. After some discussion, he got the owner on the phone, Wow….talk about rude and insulting. After experiencing nothing but tremendous Portuguese hospitality and friendliness for two weeks, this was a shock to our senses. He was overbearing,discourteous and insisted we knew about the room change ahead of timeWell yes we did,but YOU totally misrepresented the room. Who cares about a micro view when the room reeks like an outhouse,is grimy and one barely has space to turn around in? Also, if you read other reviews here on Trip Advisor the sewage smell at this property is a known issue, so beware ahead of time to expect it. The HOT bottle of cheap red wine hardly made up for Francisco's room "bait and switch" he pulled on us. He refused to do anything further to allay our concerns, dismissed the idea of a refund and continued to be belligerent and insolent on the phone, I finally gave up and hung up as this conversation was going nowhere.

The "HOUSE" itself is run down and shabby - pictures on his website are outdated.Clearly,no money is being spent on upkeep here. Breakfast was a total joke.We were presented with cheap cereal, a few bottles of warm juice,terrible coffee and stale bread - none of the local ingredients we had experienced throughout our 2 weeks travels. Mass produced Babybel cheese instead of any of the amazing Portuguese regional cheeses??? OMG,come on.

Yes, the view from the rooftop is lovely…but that simply does not make up for every other aspect of this place. I only wished I had read more of the poor, terrible and average reviews here on Trip Advisor a little closer before reserving. Won't make that mistake again.

Check out was also an issue, we were paying cash and requested a receipt.Well you would have though we were asking for the moon.The staff were very hesitant to provide a receipt, this struck us as very odd.

A dissapointing way to end an outstanding time in Portugal. A country with amazing people and food. The only saving grace was finding the LOCO restaurant in the area.
If you get stuck in this hellhole,I recommend you to consider this restaurant (nothing much else in this area anyway) to dine at.

I expect the owner will come on and reply to my review as I have noted he does this to all negative reviews.If his past replies are any indication,I presume he will be defensive and self-justifying.If he only put as much energy into improving his lodgings as he does into trying to squelch honest reviews he might actually get somewhere.

Trip advisor readers,you have been warned.With SO many other options in Lisbon, there is zero need to waste your hard earned money on this dump.

Room Tip: Stay elsewhere.
See more room tips
  • Stayed: June 2016, travelled as a couple
    • Value
    • Sleep Quality
    • Service
4  Thank VancouverZengirl
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
fcpcc1, Owner at The House, responded to this reviewResponded 26 September 2016

To whom it may be of interest:

I have been waiting for this review since my first conversation with these clients a month ago and here's why. In it, the client started by saying that dhe didn't want the room that they had previously agreed upon and that corresponded to their booking. Claiming that her closet at home was bigger than the room, she carried on by saying that everything in the room was horrible, including the view that consisted "only of rooftops" (besides the river and the castle, you can easily see at least 6 more monuments from that room). As we did not have any other rooms, I asked what would be a good solution for them. They stated that they made "reviews professionally", and after I asked for some clarification on what that meant, she proceeded by saying that the only solution would be a very steep discount. Understanding fully well that the consequence for not caving in to this sort of tactics would be a review like this, I told them that they would either stay as agreed on their booking, or not stay. They decided to stay, and I wrote the lines that you are about to read even before they checked out. They were slightly edited today, so that they are more in line with the actual content of the review.

1) Contrary to what the review implies, we actually lost some substantial revenue on this situation. We could (in hindsight, obviously, should) have cancelled this reservation when we understood a mistake had been made as it would have been better for us financially. But it wouldn't be fair as it was our mistake to begin with. Instead, and despite loosing us money as we had to move clients from a less expensive room to the most expensive room for 4 nights at the same rate, we tried to accommodate these clients by changing a couple of rooms. We explained the situation beforehand and clearly stated that the only possibility would be for them to stay on our smallest room; they gladly accepted and declined our suggestion to look up the room on our website.
2) We did offer them a bottle of red wine, one that has won quite a few prizes recently and has been rated highly by wine experts in Portugal. They claimed it was the worst wine they had ever tried.
3) Loco is a restaurant around the corner that costs from €100 per person. In Lisbon, this level of price represents the absolute top echelon in restaurants. I cannot help feeling that this client is judging us by the same standard she uses for restaurants, regardless of the fact that a comparable hotel room would cost €500 instead of the €85 she paid here. Not very fair then.
4) Even for someone that seems to have such high standards in terms of food, the client seems to be unable to understand how good freshly squeezed orange juice is, and what fresh bread and croissants picked up daily from the local bakery taste like; I stayed in a 5-star swiss hotel last weekend and I can honestly say that I prefer our breakfast, even if has, naturally, a much smaller pool of things to choose from. The ones we do have are very good.

I could go on but there is no point. It is worth noting, however, the irony of the situation: a client that behaved from the off precisely like she's (unfairly) complaining to have been treated. Incredible!

Thank you for your time,
Francisco Cansado Carvalho
Proud founder and owner of TheHOUSE Lisboa

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This response is the subjective opinion of the management representative and not of TripAdvisor LLC
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14 - 18 of 501 reviews

Reviewed 23 June 2016

In my second stay in The House, I was pleased and glad I came back. Lisbon is charming, it does not feel touristy the way other larger European capitols do. The House captures the best parts of Lisbon living. It is located away from busier sections such as Barria Alto or La Alfama, but public transport is easy to use (I like the walks - but it is a hilly city). The House is immediately next to a beautiful cathedral, a charming park, and a neat neighborhood with a new market. Francisco, the owner is great for recommendations. I like to pick restaurants on my own (I use Chowhound, TA, and NY Times "36 hours series") - so I will usually have an itinerary. He knows me well enough to say "you'll like that" or "that is more expensive than it is worth", and is always right on. He knows about out of the way restaurants and bars that TA never finds. I stayed (by accident) during the festival of St. Anthony my first visit. Francisco was able to draw out on a map where all the best music, food, and parties would be.

The rooms are small, but you feel as though you are staying in a guest house with beautiful common areas (especially the roof deck with one of the best views of the city). I've found it quiet both times I've stayed, and have enjoyed talking with other guests. This is not the inn to stay at if you want super luxury, but it is the one if you want to drink in the best Lisbon has too offer.

Stayed: February 2016
Thank Patrick S
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Reviewed 17 June 2016

I was only in Lisbon for 1 night with work & although The HOUSE doesn't look anything special on the outside, it was a great find. The room, view, lounge area, balcony, roof terrace & most importantly the Francissco made this a great stay. I couldn't recommend this enough :) I am normally too lazy to complete a review, but this is an exceptional place.

  • Stayed: June 2016, travelled on business
    • Value
    • Sleep Quality
    • Service
Thank markayresphp
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Reviewed 12 June 2016

We stayed in the dressing room for 2 nights and 2 busy days. It's a great room with a private balcony which is very nice, however the view from the rooftop terrace is even better so don't worry if you can't get that particular room . The welcome was friendly, warm and helpful. Its a great location central to anything you need, and if you follow their advice on where to go, what to see and how to get there you can't go wrong. The communication with Francisco was great and I would give him 10 stars if I could.

  • Stayed: June 2016, travelled as a couple
    • Location
    • Rooms
    • Service
2  Thank MandDOntario_Canada
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Reviewed 8 June 2016

We stayed at TheHOUSE for 3 nights on our first visit to Lisbon and couldn't fault it at all.
From the moment you walk in and are greeted with so much warmth and genuine pleasure by the owner Francisco you are in for a treat.
Don't bother searching the internet for somewhere to stay , this is a superb guest house.
Francisco gives you lots of tips and information to make your trip to Lisbon special. He really has genuine enthusiasm and couldn't be more helpful.
As others have said , the views from the rooftop terrace are stunning and a well stocked honesty bar up there is a really good touch.
We stayed in the Nanny's room which was excellent.
The breakfast is very good and eggs are cooked if you wish.
All in all a great stay and we will recommend to everyone we know.

  • Stayed: June 2016, travelled as a couple
    • Location
    • Service
2  Thank Rob N
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
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Additional Information about The House

Address: Travessa do Pinheiro 11 4th Floor, Lisbon 1200-763, Portugal
Region: Portugal > Central Portugal > Lisbon District > Lisbon
Free Breakfast Free High Speed Internet ( WiFi ) Suites
Hotel Style:
Ranked #40 of 262 B&Bs / Inns in Lisbon
Price Range: $78 - $181 (Based on Average Rates for a Standard Room)
Hotel Class:3 star — The House 3*
Number of rooms: 8
Official Description (provided by the hotel):
In what used to be a big family's home in the best neighbourhood in Lisbon, The HOUSE is a "boutique B&B" that offers its guests a sophisticated but relaxed ambiance inside, and a terrace with a breathtakingly beautiful view over Lisboa. Come, you will feel at home in The HOUSE. ... more   less 
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Also Known As:
The House Hotel Lisbon

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