I stayed at the Hazleton Motor Inn the night of June 1, 2007. This place is nothing like the establishment's website shows, or other reviews indicated.

There was nothing wrong with staff per se, although I found them to be fairly aloof, like they couldn't be bothered with rudimentary tasks like checking me in and out. That I can live with, barely.

The accommodations themselves were nothing short of awful. Don't believe anything about data ports or high-speed internet in the rooms. The touch-tone phone I had dated back to the 1980s, if not earlier. Likewise, their claims of in-room movies turned out to be inaccurate. The rooms did have cable, although the universal remote control in my room did not control the television.

The bathroom door didn't close fully. The cleanliness and state of repair of the bathroom were questionable, at best. Nothing that any reasonable person forking over $50 per night would find acceptable.

The room comes with a table and two chairs. One of the chairs looked like it had been vomited on by a prior occupant, and never cleaned or replaced by staff. I swear this is no joke...

The carpet was pocked by cigarette burns.

No alarm clock was included in my room, nor was any offer made by staff to provide a wake-up call. Isn't this pretty much a given in any hotel room. Thankfully I have a cell phone with an alarm feature.

The front door to the room includes a deadbolt, but one that can be opened with a key by staff, or God only knows who else. No chain or bar lock. You will see why this is important as I get a little further into the review.

I have my doubts as to whether the linens were cleaned or changed prior to my arrival. The sheets and pillowcases were stained and yellowed, and the bed spread on one of the beds had what I can reasonably assume was a booger on it. Again, no lie! It was really a tough call to take the floor or one of the beds for sleeping - not that I slept very much.

The staff made little or no effort to control the behavior of much of the clientele, which seemed to be made up of a lot of "locals" looking for a good time. I had what sounded like a couple engaged in a domestic argument on one side of me, and a group of about a dozen hoodlums on the other side. Thankfully, there is a district magistrate's office fronting the property the hotel occupies, and I felt fairly safe parking my car there. To top it all off, at about 3:00am I receive a call from one of my friendly fellow occupants downstairs, asking me what all the noise and banging was about?!? Never mind the fact that I was the only person in the room, and miraculously asleep at the time. Or at least I was until that call came in.

I realize this all seems like a case of sour grapes. The management must have done something to set me off, right? Wrong. I made the best of my evening and paid for the room like I obligated myself to do. However, I would have probably been better off sleeping in my rental car.

I realize $50 is not that much as far as hotel rooms go, but it is still a lot of money for a working stiff like myself. I feel that this kind of money should buy a spartan experience, but one better than what I had. The room I rented for the evening was *maybe* worth $20, if that. It is by far the most dumpy, skanky place I have ever laid my head.

If I can offer advice to you and your family, pony up a few extra bucks for a room in a respected national chain, or go camping. Avoid this place like any one of a number of diseases you might catch staying there.